When we think about soft skills training, it’s tempting to imagine a one-size-fits-all solution: a workshop here, a seminar there, and voilà—everyone emerges as a better communicator, problem solver, or team player. But the truth is far more nuanced. Soft skills are deeply personal, shaped by an individual’s personality, context, and existing strengths. Without understanding these factors, we risk providing training that is irrelevant—or worse, counterproductive.
Know your audience: Why personality matters
Let’s start with an example: you wouldn’t teach an extravert how to start a conversation. For someone who thrives on social interaction, such advice might feel redundant or even patronizing. Instead, an extravert might benefit from learning how to listen more effectively, manage group dynamics, or recognize when their enthusiasm could overwhelm quieter participants.
On the flip side, an introvert might appreciate strategies for initiating conversations or navigating networking events without feeling drained. Tailoring soft skills training to personality ensures that people get tools they can actually use, not a checklist of generic behaviours that may not fit.
Context is key: Aligning skills with situations
Personality isn’t the only consideration—context plays a critical role, too. Imagine offering the same communication training to funeral directors and salespeople. For the latter, a session on breaking the ice with humor might be spot-on. But for funeral directors, whose role demands solemnity and empathy, such advice would not only be unhelpful—it could be outright damaging.
Understanding the context in which soft skills will be applied ensures that training is relevant and respectful. Whether it’s teaching healthcare workers how to deliver bad news with compassion or helping managers navigate difficult conversations, context informs what’s needed and what’s not.
Soft skills are deeply personal, shaped by an individual’s personality, context, and existing strengths.
Measure to manage: The role of assessment
This is where measurement becomes essential. If you’re going to teach soft skills, you first need to understand your audience—both as individuals and as a group. Tools like the Multidimensional Inventory for Personal Intelligence (MIPI) can help by providing insights into key competencies like emotional communication, social integration, and performance readiness.
Assessments like these allow trainers to pinpoint where the gaps are and tailor their approach accordingly. For instance:
- A team with low Emotional Communication skills might benefit from exercises in emotional vocabulary and active listening.
- A group of emerging leaders might need to focus on Motivational Influence and Performance Readiness.
- An individual struggling with Social Agency might need gradual exposure to new social situations, paired with confidence-building strategies.
By starting with measurement, you avoid wasting time on skills people already excel in and ensure that your training addresses the areas that matter most. Consider the example below.
Social Agency: An applied example
Social Agency is a cornerstone of effective interpersonal interaction (and just one of ten dimensions that the MIPI measures). It represents an individual’s ability to navigate social environments, from overcoming anxiety to inspiring and mentoring others. But like any skill, Social Agency exists on a continuum. Understanding where someone falls on this spectrum is crucial for providing tailored soft skills training.
To help you visualize how Social Agency develops, I’ve outlined a table detailing each stage of the SA continuum, along with its corresponding strengths and challenges. This breakdown offers a practical framework for tailoring soft skills training to meet individuals where they are.
| Hextile | Stage | Strength | Challenge |
|---|---|---|---|
| SA-1 | High social interaction anxiety | Able to read others' body language with above-average accuracy. | Tends to avoid social situations, limiting growth opportunities. |
| SA-2 | Beginning to engage socially | Can effectively observe and mirror basic social behaviours. | Struggles with initiating interactions without clear prompts. |
| SA-3 | Moderate confidence in social settings | Comfortably responds to social cues and engages in structured conversations. | Tends to rely too heavily on rehearsed and prefabricated responses. |
| SA-4 | Consistent social engagement | Capable of maintaining balanced, reciprocal conversations with others. | Struggles to deepen relationships beyond surface-level interactions. |
| SA-5 | Advanced social competence | Skilled at resolving conflicts and fostering collaboration on teams. | Can overcommit in social roles, risking strained relationships. |
| SA-6 | Maximized social agency | Effortlessly inspires, mentors and connects with diverse groups. | May find it challenging to emotionally disengage, leading to boundary issues. |
| Note: Social Agency is just one example of a measurable dimension that can be similarly deconstructed. | |||
What this means for training
By identifying where someone sits on the Social Agency spectrum, trainers can better address their unique needs. For example, individuals at SA-1 might benefit from gradual exposure to low-stakes social situations, while those at SA-5 could be coached on maintaining boundaries to prevent overcommitment. Tailoring interventions in this way not only enhances their effectiveness but also helps individuals build confidence and skill at their own pace.
Take SA-3 as an example. Someone at this stage might excel in structured conversations but struggle when asked to improvise or adapt in dynamic settings. Training for these individuals could focus on scenario-based role-play exercises to build spontaneity and flexibility. Similarly, those at SA-4 could benefit from advanced techniques to deepen their relationships, such as active listening or exploring vulnerability in appropriate contexts.
| Hextile | Stage | Possible training | Research inspiration |
|---|---|---|---|
| SA-1 | High social interaction anxiety | Offer techniques to speak up in group settings, and tips on creating step-by-step plans to use them. | Desensitization hierarchy; Wolpe, 1958 |
| SA-2 | Beginning to engage socially | Offer strategies for initiating work-related conversations and options for working through difficult feelings. | Coping strategies; Lazarus, 1984 |
| SA-3 | Moderate confidence in social settings | Teach a framework for asking open-ended questions that stimulate team dialogue and focus. | Socratic questioning; Clark & Wells, 1995 |
| SA-4 | Consistent social engagement | Encourage observation of real-time non-verbal cues to ensure inclusive and balanced participation. | Reading facial cues; Ekman, 1971 |
| SA-5 | Advanced social competence | Teach specific conflict management strategies to achieve consensus under difficult conditions. | Conflict resolution; Thomas & Kilmann, 1978 |
| SA-6 | Maximized social agency | Teach advanced emotional observation to appeal to a team's goals to inspire trust and commitment. | Pragmatics and epistemics; Wilutzky, 2015 |
Imagine if you had pre-fab lessons available for each level of this continuum (you can get some from me, by the way). You could then pick from a menu of targeted activities or exercises, designed specifically for each stage. Not cost effective you say? Measure your entire group at once and draw on modules that suit the scores your group most has in common, then tailor them to the context in which they need to operate.
Understanding the context in which soft skills will be applied ensures that training is relevant and respectful.
The ripple effect of tailored training
When training aligns with individual and contextual needs, the results are transformative. Participants not only learn new skills but also feel seen, understood, and supported. This buy-in creates a ripple effect: better engagement, stronger application of skills, and a greater impact on the organization or community they serve.
In contrast, generic training can leave participants feeling frustrated or misunderstood. Worse, it can reinforce the idea that soft skills development is irrelevant, eroding trust in future training efforts.
Building better practices
The importance of tailoring soft skills training cannot be overstated. By considering personality, context, and the insights provided by tools like the MIPI, trainers can deliver programs that resonate deeply with their audience. When done right, soft skills training becomes more than a checkbox—it becomes a catalyst for growth, connection, and meaningful change.
So the next time you’re designing a training session, pause and ask yourself: Who am I teaching? What do they need? And how can I meet them where they are? These questions can make all the difference.
